Troll (a short story) Edit

This is a rendition of the classic story 3 Billy Goats Gruff


Once upon a time there was a grumpy old troll face under a bridge. One day, three goats wanted passage across the river that the bridge was on to get to the good wifi. When the smallest goat past, the troll jumped out and yelled “Problem?”. The goat was startled, and the troll was trying to troll him, so he said, “Wait for my brother, he will rage and scream much louder.” The troll face went back under the bridge and waited for the next goat to pass. When the goat started to cross, the troll face jumped up and yelled “Problem?”. The goat screamed. The troll face was about to troll him when the goat said, “ Wait for my eldest brother, he will rage much more”. So the troll mumbled and went back under the bridge. When the final goat passed, the troll face jumped up and yelled “Problem?”. The eldest goat was startled, and rammed the troll face with his horns. It had no effect! Suddenly Ash Ketchum showed up beside the eldest goat. “USE RAM!” yelled ash. The goat rammed the troll face. It had no effect! Ash was getting  frantic, “Pikachu! Use thunderbolt!” He commanded. “PIKA, PIKA, CHUUUUUUUUUUU” It did alot of damage! Troll face is not fit to battle! Ash Wins! But it turns out that the troll face had a baby, and the baby was all alone under the cold cold bridge. But who cares about troll babys? The goat rammed the baby out of existence. But after that happened Ash Ketchup took out a poke-ball and he ate the poke-ball and died.The goats got their free wifi and lived happily ever after. And then died later that day. This was their funeral song: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SAVANYAAAAAAAAA (gibberish) SUSHIMA! But the then baby troll came back and stole the wifi! But everyone was confused so then he showed everyone that he learned how to harness the power of a  black hole...But the wifi was really slow because it was at McDonalds. The End? NOPE! The goat database now had info on trolls and developed a plan to take over the wurld.But there was a crazy cat lady that wanted to eat all the goats. So she went to the goat database with a knife and a fork but also she was carrying an oven on her back. Crazy cat lady? More like mentally insane cat lady. That is what all the goats said when they saw her, so then she started eating them.But the eldest goat farted and she lost her appetite and ran away screaming “DON’T WORRY KITTY-KINS! MOMMY’S COMING!” The goat army declared war on the trolls and cat lady. Then the trolls teamed up with the cat lady and started to develop a plan to take over the world. Back at the goat baaa-ta-base (Drum Joke Sounds) the goats were researching how to use their useless hooves to hold atomic weapons. Then they realized they can’t make nuclear weapons because of their useless hooves. So, they went with the old fashioned way. (War Music) The goats were at the front line, defending their territory, the trolls were coming in fast, and they had to defeat them quickly. The goat captain yelled “RAAAAAAAAM” And the entire goat army ran at the trolls, knocking them all out of existence. They revived Ash Ketchum and he fought alongside the entire goat army. Pikachu was zapping trolls and the goats were ramming. When suddenly, WHAM! EXPLOSIONS! Everyone died. The end. BUT THERE WAS ONE PERSON LEFT…. THE CRAZY CAT LADY!!!!! She woke up after the explosion with dust and rubble all around her. But she was sick with the flu, so she dies moments later of CANCER for some reason. But there was a little kitty that was still alive and the kitty ate the dead crazy cat lady body. But teh kitty caught kitty cancer and died the end…. But wait… the cat…. Was now… a ZAMBIE! The zambie apoocalips was now happening so the cats died. The End.